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Do you believe in doves? This brought chills and tears and most importantly peace May 10, 2009

A good friend and wonderful woman died six months ago this past Friday. She fought her battle with cancer with more determination and strength than I’ve seen anyone fight that vicious battle. She lost the battle. She was a mom, a wife, a dear friend, an inspiration, and a symbol of hope.

She was able to beat at least some odds – they said she had 3 months and she lived 2 days short of 2 years. At the bitter end, there was nothing left of her ravaged body. The cancer had eaten up every vital organ in her body and had permeated her bones and every other part of her. She arrived at her death bed 4 days before the 2-yr anniversary of her diagnosis. Nobody had said this but I knew she was determined, I mean determined, to make it to the 2-yr anniversary of her “sentencing”. When she arrived the first day, her family was able to grieve the hospice milestone with her – which she wanted. She wanted them to cry with her but not after she had passed. She wanted them to feel the same peace in her passing that she would feel as she finally rid herself of all this earthly body pain. With the medication, she gently drifted into sleep with her husband by her side. Everyone thought this would be her passing. It was the best and most peaceful way to pass. She had good closure on her valiant, so valiant, struggle.

When she made it through the night, we all sent text messages letting each other know. Then when she made it through the second night, I knew exactly what she was doing. As hell-bent as she was to fight that dreaded disease, she was hell-bent to make it to the 2-yr anniversary of her sentence to give that stupid death sentence another kick in the teeth. She didn’t make it. She passed 2 days before that day. But she won before she ever started the battle. She brought so much hope and inspiration to everyone who knew her and heard of her story.

In 2008, I had 2 friends, both in their early 40′s, both with young children, that died of lung cancer.

When she did pass, there was a good feeling in those that knew her. She, and G-d, gave us 2 years to savor life and then say goodbye. Even though the first couple months following her passing marked the Christmas holidays and both of her children’s birthdays, those events passed with few tears. But, the 6-month anniversary of her passing was coming 2 days before Mother’s Day. I knew Mother’s day would be really hard on her family. At birthdays, they are about other people and they are, by design, joyful intended events. The focus is designed to be on other people. But on mother’s day, not only do her children not have someone to celebrate with, but everyone else is celebrating their mother. With the 6-month anniversary of her passing being 2 days before, I was so worried for her children.

Then, the most beautiful thing happened. Three days before the anniversary this stunningly beautiful all-white dove showed up in her yard. It hung around. It was not a passing visit. When various friends and family came to see the dove, it was either in the yard, or would swoop in for a visit. It would perch on a low-lying branch and gaze peacefully and lovingly at the beholders. Dogs would come in the yard and she would not be scared. People would walk within feet of her, and she did not fly away. My good friend went to witness the dove and it was not there. As my friend wandered around the backyard with great empty sadness, she flew back in the yard and modeled for this photo. Thank you for allowing us to weather through one more unfortunate milestone — feeling, yet, more peace. More hope.

I’m so totally unsure of where I am in my faith. Her visit brought some renewal to my faith.